On becoming bivocational…

I’ve resisted writing about becoming bivocational because I dreaded droning on about the factors and rationale behind having elected to take a full-time temporary position as a mailroom clerk on top of being a full-time pastor of a new church plant.

Before I turn that page, let me just say: God is with me. With that certainty I wake up every morning, pack my lunch and head off to do some of the most mind-numbing work I can imagine. Scanning, faxing, folding letters, and pushing ever mounting piles of paper. I’ve told my wife that I manifestly don’t like what I do, but I’m so glad I have this opportunity to do it. I’ve already learned so much about myself and ministry in the process.

I’m ready to break my silence on the subject because today I had two amazing moments with God while at work.

The first came early in the morning, when one of the ladies who works in our office invited me over to see some pictures of her family. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but considering that everyone in this office is over-time-busy, rushing to meet daily deadlines and quotas for their own mountains of paperwork, I know that the time she was taking to show me these pictures was precious to her. It was the difference between yet another late night in the office and getting home at a decent time.

Among the pictures she showed me were several of her 21 year old son. She told me about him and the fact that he had passed away five months ago. I could tell how deeply she misses him and how much strength she was having to muster up to talk to me about him. It was one of those life moments that pass in slow motion.

It was a real human connection in the midst of computer screens, clicking keyboards, and running copier machines. If Holy really means “set apart,” then this moment was most definitely Holy. This sweet woman invited me into her life for a moment. For those few moments, we both stopped being flesh-covered machines and we were fully human.

“What is compelling this moment? Why the sudden vulnerability? I’m just the office temp that pushes send on the fax machine all day.”

And yet, a bridge was built today.

As a pastor, I long to connect with people in the REAL. I long to experience the times when I know light is shining in dark places. But before today, I’ve often wondered if people were connecting with me because my picture was up on the “pastor’s wall” of the mega-church lobby hallway. Today the moment was pure and unencumbered by all that. The moment was a gift. I walked away sensing that God was showing me that my call as a pastor is not a title that only works in the confines of a church building – it is a gift that is meant to build bridges in the most unlikely of places.

And then the mail machine jams up on me…

My second experience with God came as I was running the postage machine and stamping bins of mail. The mailroom I work in processes A LOT of mail everyday. Today the mail machine jammed on my watch. It happens. It’s not fun when it does. But this time the jam stopped the flow on envelopes and left a letter on the top of the pile that punched me in the gut. On the top of the pile was the name of a close friends who lost his job a couple of weeks ago. And I knew that in that envelope was paperwork set into motion because of his termination of employment.

What are the odds?

PEOPLE ARE NOT NUMBERS, DANNY! THESE ARE NOT JUST LETTERS WITH NAMES ON THEM! ALL THESE NAMES ARE REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL STORIES!

The weight of the moment almost crushed me. Because I know my friend’s story. I sat in his truck a few days after he got laid off and saw the tears in his eyes. I felt his pain. And I began to wonder what the rest of the stories were in the stack of mail bins that were already full.

We are all surrounded by life stories. Real life events. Real pain. Real loss. But the incessant drone of work and duties and efficient postage machines is drowning it all out.

So my reflection on becoming bivocational is one of thankfulness. This temporary assignment is nothing less than a neccesary paper jam in the ministry machine I created in my mind after all these years.

Ministry is not efficient output. Ministry is people.

Ministry is not task lists. Ministry is bridge building.

I can’t wait to see what I’ll learn over the next six weeks. I’m paying attention.