Sincere Questions that Sting
While dropping my daughter off at school a couple of days ago, I was confronted by a sincere question that stung. As I was assisting my daughter in the coat room, a little friend of hers asked me, “What disease does Madeline have?”
It wasn’t just the question itself, but the tone and non-verbals that came along with it that caught me off guard. The little girl looked afraid. She looked concerned. It was as if she had heard H1N1 precautions at home about staying away from any sick kids. It was as if she thought my daughter’s special needs were contagious and could be spread by her generous hugs.
But she was sincere.
And there I stood, stunned and stinging. The thought that my child’s peers would liken her needs to a contagious disease and consequently want to keep their distance was hard to deal with. But there she stood, waiting for an answer.
I had a choice between being upset, and between helping this little girl better understand my daughter. Help dispel the sincere fear she had at the moment.
***
Can I do the same when someone asks me a sincere question about my faith that stings? Or a difficult question about how we carry on as followers of Jesus? There are plenty of misperceptions, misunderstandings, and fears surrounding what it means to be a follower of Jesus. So it should not come as a surprise to me if I’m asked a question about God or my faith that may even at first seem offensive. The question I’m asking myself is, what will my response be?
I walked away from that coat room this week reflecting on the need to listen beyond the question and the initial shock or sting. Is there an opportunity for understanding beneath it all? I may say I welcome sincere questions, but what do I do when they sting?
As unfounded as that little girl’s fears were regarding my daughter, they were real to her and she was looking to me for some comfort. And as unfounded as some of the fears are surrounding my faith, they are just as real to those who have them. And yet, I may miss a powerful point of connection if I focus on the merits of the fear over the opportunity to bring comfort.
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
