stir the pot

Today I made a killer batch of fresh guacamole for lunch. It was awesome.

But my guacamole has not always been this good. In fact, it was merely mediocre until I tasted my friend Amy Dusek’s guacamole at a game night at our friends Craig and Rachel’s home. I remember nothing other than the guacamole that night. It was epic. I was convinced she had found a recipe from ancient Greece - because this was some serious ambrosia.

I left that night reassuring myself that someday I, too, would make guacamole like that. I was determined.

But my next batch was uneventful. I tried making guacamole again after that and it was still mediocre. In fact, I remember one day my wife Stephanie had some friends over and I whipped up some for them because I wanted to know what they thought.

“Too much onion.”

“Good. But it’s still missing something…”

I now look back at all those blasé batches of guacamole and realize how important they were to me experiencing amazing guacamole today. Each time I tried making it, and then was brave enough to share it, and then, most importantly, asked for feedback, I got closer to what I make now.

Attempting then failing. Then asking for feedback. Attempting again, asking for more feedback, only to try again.

In life, I want to be unafraid to attempt something, invite someone to taste, then ask for feedback.

Because it makes for amazing guacamole… among other important things.

Guacamole:
Avocados
Red Onion
Fresh Cilantro
Roma Tomatoes
Fresh Lime Juice
Fresh Garlic
Kosher Salt

…I’d give you amounts, but this way is more fun. Perhaps you should try a batch and ask someone to taste, and then ask for their feedback.

I wrote a simple question in my notebook on my first day at work, nearly four weeks ago.

Can I make a difference in nine weeks?

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this experience and I wondered if the time frame was too narrow for me to even notice any difference being made. And now having learned that my contract has been cut short and that today is my last day, I’m left reflecting on the time I did have working with all of you.

I want to say thank you. It was fun getting to know so many of you. Despite the mountains of work you all bravely encounter daily, you found time to small-talk with me by the copy machines as you waited for Joan/Bev/Barb to be done printing their PQBs. (I’m pretty sure that machine belongs to them!)

Norma, thank you for always being so kind.
Paula, thanks for the pretzels and triscuits.
Cindy/Kaitlyn, thanks for always being so willing to print up more faxes.
Joan/Bev/Barb, thanks for always delivering the PQBs with a smile.
Sara, thanks for sharing your story with me and letting me read the poem you wrote.
Amy, thanks for always reminding me that Friday was right on the horizon.
Crystal, thanks for putting up with the fax beeps by your desk.
Rachel, thanks for the egg salad sandwich and for always opening the door for me.
Sherry, thanks for offering to let me use your hand lotion after a long day of folding letters.
Ann, thanks for all your good humor and quick whit.
Karen, thanks for sharing your “southern belle” drawl with all of us.
Jack, thanks for always being willing to fix the postage machines when I got stumped.
Michelle, thanks for putting in that good word when my wife came to visit.
Dawn, thanks for the “framable” forms and good conversations.

And Bridgett, thanks for sharing your family photos with me. It was the most meaningful moment of my entire time there.

Taryn, Stanley, and Troy - my brothers in the struggle against the ever increasing mountains of paper - thanks for all the laughs and for making what would have been boring work thoroughly enjoyable. I hope I’m better at “the game” by the time we all see each other again. Shoot. I just lost, didn’t I? Oh, and don’t forget rule 13…or 9,000.

Sandee, thank you for giving me this opportunity to be on your team and for being such an inspiring leader. It was a pleasure to be able to work for you, even if only briefly.

I guess what I’m saying is that you all turned the tables on me. I was aiming to make a difference and I’m not sure I had quite enough time, but I do know that you all have made a difference to me. My life journey now moves on, and this chapter in it, though short, will not be forgotten. Thank you all for being so kind.

You all are a great bunch of people. My prayer now is that you’ll continue to look out for one another as you take on the new challenges as your company continues to grow.

(And I also hope that some of you will begin to consider taking a day off here and there.)

Grace & Peace,

Danny “the temp”

Goodbye Party

I’ve resisted writing about becoming bivocational because I dreaded droning on about the factors and rationale behind having elected to take a full-time temporary position as a mailroom clerk on top of being a full-time pastor of a new church plant.

Before I turn that page, let me just say: God is with me. With that certainty I wake up every morning, pack my lunch and head off to do some of the most mind-numbing work I can imagine. Scanning, faxing, folding letters, and pushing ever mounting piles of paper. I’ve told my wife that I manifestly don’t like what I do, but I’m so glad I have this opportunity to do it. I’ve already learned so much about myself and ministry in the process.

I’m ready to break my silence on the subject because today I had two amazing moments with God while at work.

The first came early in the morning, when one of the ladies who works in our office invited me over to see some pictures of her family. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but considering that everyone in this office is over-time-busy, rushing to meet daily deadlines and quotas for their own mountains of paperwork, I know that the time she was taking to show me these pictures was precious to her. It was the difference between yet another late night in the office and getting home at a decent time.

Among the pictures she showed me were several of her 21 year old son. She told me about him and the fact that he had passed away five months ago. I could tell how deeply she misses him and how much strength she was having to muster up to talk to me about him. It was one of those life moments that pass in slow motion.

It was a real human connection in the midst of computer screens, clicking keyboards, and running copier machines. If Holy really means “set apart,” then this moment was most definitely Holy. This sweet woman invited me into her life for a moment. For those few moments, we both stopped being flesh-covered machines and we were fully human.

“What is compelling this moment? Why the sudden vulnerability? I’m just the office temp that pushes send on the fax machine all day.”

And yet, a bridge was built today.

As a pastor, I long to connect with people in the REAL. I long to experience the times when I know light is shining in dark places. But before today, I’ve often wondered if people were connecting with me because my picture was up on the “pastor’s wall” of the mega-church lobby hallway. Today the moment was pure and unencumbered by all that. The moment was a gift. I walked away sensing that God was showing me that my call as a pastor is not a title that only works in the confines of a church building - it is a gift that is meant to build bridges in the most unlikely of places.

And then the mail machine jams up on me…

My second experience with God came as I was running the postage machine and stamping bins of mail. The mailroom I work in processes A LOT of mail everyday. Today the mail machine jammed on my watch. It happens. It’s not fun when it does. But this time the jam stopped the flow on envelopes and left a letter on the top of the pile that punched me in the gut. On the top of the pile was the name of a close friends who lost his job a couple of weeks ago. And I knew that in that envelope was paperwork set into motion because of his termination of employment.

What are the odds?

PEOPLE ARE NOT NUMBERS, DANNY! THESE ARE NOT JUST LETTERS WITH NAMES ON THEM! ALL THESE NAMES ARE REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL STORIES!

The weight of the moment almost crushed me. Because I know my friend’s story. I sat in his truck a few days after he got laid off and saw the tears in his eyes. I felt his pain. And I began to wonder what the rest of the stories were in the stack of mail bins that were already full.

We are all surrounded by life stories. Real life events. Real pain. Real loss. But the incessant drone of work and duties and efficient postage machines is drowning it all out.

So my reflection on becoming bivocational is one of thankfulness. This temporary assignment is nothing less than a neccesary paper jam in the ministry machine I created in my mind after all these years.

Ministry is not efficient output. Ministry is people.

Ministry is not task lists. Ministry is bridge building.

I can’t wait to see what I’ll learn over the next six weeks. I’m paying attention.

I love cooking. And I love igniting people with purpose that is greater then themselves. Today, both of these passions collide into what I know will be an amazing day. Later this afternoon I join a 12 member team from Bloom to prepare and share a meal at the Family Place , a day shelter for homeless families in St Paul, MN. Not only do I get to cook with friends from my community, but we also get to experience the joy of serving others from our community in St Paul who are at the moment in need.

Our community embrace team fell in love with this organization the moment they connected. Not only are they committed to help families who have had the unfortunate turn toward homelessness get back on their feet, but they are also committed to educating others about the true face of homelessness in Minnesota. Much to our own surprise, 47% of the homeless population in St Paul is youth and children. Like many, we assumed the face of homelessness was predominantly adult men, until the Family Place introduced us to a group of the kids playing with toys in their family room.

The Family Place provides a shelter out of the cold for families to gather and provide support, comfort and direction as they move forward, which is a welcome alternative to having to ride the city bus all day, walk the skyway system, or avoid mall security to stay warm. The shelter has showers, laundry facilities, and computers and staff to assist in job searches and placement in affordable housing.

What caught our attention the most was their commitment to dignity and community connection. And no where is this commitment more obvious then at the dinner table. The food that is prepared by communities of faith and other volunteers is served family style. There are no cafeteria lines, paper plates, or people behind counters handing out food. We all sit together around set tables, volunteers and new friends, and we break bread together in a moment that demonstrates we all have need, the daily need for nourishment. Children, who may have sensed their parents loss of circumstantial control, get to experience their own parents putting food on their plates from dishes at the center of the table.

I had the fortune of planning our team’s menu. I spent quite a bit of time thinking it through. We wanted our meal to not just be food, but a piece of our community. We wanted the dishes to represent us and what we eat at our tables. We want those we meet this afternoon to sense that even in the food we are offering a piece of ourselves, our families, and our own personal histories.

I can’t wait to get the apron on, sharpen the knives, and get to cooking. I can’t wait to see the face of one of my new friends as they take that first flavorful bite. It will be a moment where the mission of Bloom comes alive anew for me, the mission to create opportunities for people to experience the grace of God.

Our Menu:
- Mama Judy’s Beef Au Jus Sandwiches
The best part of this is that Mama Judy herself got excited about what we are doing and has been making 26 lbs of the most tender, succulent beef that has been cooking in an au jus that kings would bathe in if they could.
- Rodney Beans
Our friend Rodney is our AV Team leader and he comes from the great state of Mississippi. His recipe is not for baked beans, it is for “Rodney Beans.” These beans typically make their appearance at Memorial day parties, Super Bowl parties, or on occasions where we beg him to make them.
- Oriental Cole Slaw
We were looking for something with a tangy crunch and thought this would create a good balance to the other dishes. We took a look at several recipes and pulled the best. We’ll see how it goes.
- Corn Bread
This name is a misnomer since it is more like corn cake. This down South recipe has an incredible balance of savory and sweet. This recipe shows up at Joy’s table, Dawn’s parties, and has accompanied Mama Judy’s sandwiches in the past. Our new friends will think these moist bites are dessert.
- Chocolate Cake
Bruce and Susan will be bringing a family recipe and Stephanie will be making a few of her cakes with our girls to give us a head start. We hope they like chocolate, because these cakes will have plenty

If you are looking for a meaningful opportunity to connect with the community of St Paul, check out the Family Place.

This past year has been by far the most challenging year of my life. There were several times I was sure I had reached the end, that I would not be able to go on or get back up. But here I am today, taking a moment to reflect on the wild adventure this year has been, and all is well with me and my beautiful family.

God has been good. He has been very good. And I look forward to the plans He has for us in 2010.

As I welcome the New Year, this is my prayer for all of those that I know and love. It is a Psalm of David.

“May He grant the dreams of your heart
and see your plans through to the end.
When you win, we will not be silent! We will shout
and raise high our banner in the great name of our God!
May the Eternal One say yes to all your requests.”
Psalm 20:4-5 (Voice)

Happy New Year!

To Judson & Kristina and the Sound Church team,

There was a misunderstanding over the last few days that may have given the impression that we were at odds. I want to be sure you all know that we are not. I’m sorry for any of the confusion that took place and let you all know as clearly as I can that we love you guys.

We are inspired by the selflessness many of you have shown to move to Seattle to open a life-giving church. We are cheering you guys on and praying that the upcoming days are filled with grace, abundance, and full nights of sleep (trust me, you’ll need your rest!).

We’re proud of you guys and look forward to hearing updates of all the awesome things God does through all of you as SoundChurch.

Onward my friends!

Danny

Three months into our church plant and things are blooming.

We started this year praying for a bunch of people we didn’t yet know and who we longed to meet along this journey. Now we close out the year having met some of the people God is drawing by his love. We consider this a gift. We’ve learned their names, become part of their stories, and we’ve embraced as friends who have become family through faith.

Meet our friends. This is our family, the community at Bloom.

Merry Christmas

Gs

While dropping my daughter off at school a couple of days ago, I was confronted by a sincere question that stung. As I was assisting my daughter in the coat room, a little friend of hers asked me, “What disease does Madeline have?”

It wasn’t just the question itself, but the tone and non-verbals that came along with it that caught me off guard. The little girl looked afraid. She looked concerned. It was as if she had heard H1N1 precautions at home about staying away from any sick kids. It was as if she thought my daughter’s special needs were contagious and could be spread by her generous hugs.

But she was sincere.

And there I stood, stunned and stinging. The thought that my child’s peers would liken her needs to a contagious disease and consequently want to keep their distance was hard to deal with. But there she stood, waiting for an answer.

I had a choice between being upset, and between helping this little girl better understand my daughter. Help dispel the sincere fear she had at the moment.

***

Can I do the same when someone asks me a sincere question about my faith that stings? Or a difficult question about how we carry on as followers of Jesus? There are plenty of misperceptions, misunderstandings, and fears surrounding what it means to be a follower of Jesus. So it should not come as a surprise to me if I’m asked a question about God or my faith that may even at first seem offensive. The question I’m asking myself is, what will my response be?

I walked away from that coat room this week reflecting on the need to listen beyond the question and the initial shock or sting. Is there an opportunity for understanding beneath it all? I may say I welcome sincere questions, but what do I do when they sting?

As unfounded as that little girl’s fears were regarding my daughter, they were real to her and she was looking to me for some comfort. And as unfounded as some of the fears are surrounding my faith, they are just as real to those who have them. And yet, I may miss a powerful point of connection if I focus on the merits of the fear over the opportunity to bring comfort.

Proverbs 15:1  A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

This past weekend we celebrated our youngest daughter’s sixth birthday. The reality that my daughters are growing fast sunk deep. Not sure why it hit me so hard this year, but it did.

I know I echo many fathers who attest being able to vividly remember bringing their babies home. I remember the short time she used to sleep right next to my side of the bed in her bassinet. And now she’s old enough to ask me to ride the “Log Chute” ride at the Mall of America while assuring me that the water only splashes, and that it doesn’t get you wet. (Public Service Announcement: It does get you wet.)

Time is flying by.

This past weekend we also marked the sixth week of gathering as Bloom. I have no idea where the time has gone. I’m finding myself remembering starting our launch team meetings in my basement and how we used an overturned trash can with a sheet on it as a podium. I’m remembering Luke leading worship and the pile of shoes in our entry way.

As I reflect on it all, I’m reminding myself how important it is to pause and take it all in. I’m reminding myself how important memories are as souvenirs for the soul. As my kids grow and as Bloom takes root, I must remember what a gift these years are.

Because tomorrow is fast approaching.

I’ve heard this song before. (New Soul by Yael Naim) But today as I was stuffing programs for Bloom’s big opening weekend, I had to pull up the video to see what it was about. I needed something to take my mind off the mundane task at hand.

I deeply resonated with it.

Many people have asked me what our church planting experience has been like. I come up short every time I try to answer, because frankly, my answers never seem poetic enough to be real. And here, the images in this video capture so much of what this journey has felt like.

***

We moved out and found a place of our own to call home.

We spent time unpacking our past while dreaming about what life could be like, and those dreams always included people. Other people we were yet to meet. People that had a melody about them who were on their own journeys. People who were coming together.

We’ve wondered what our mark would look like if we were brave enough to leave one on our world.

Then the walls fell out. All around us there was life in full bloom.

We now have friends who have joined the party. Friends with great talent and loads of passion all singing to the same tune.

…All with new souls.

…All wanting to go and unleash the generosity of God through Jesus on those around us.

…All under a great big open heaven.

What has our church planting experience been like?

A lot like this video, I suppose.